The Beginning of the End

from March 1 message from my sister-in-law Debbie to us siblings:
-------
Just want you to know that there has been no improvement in Mom's condition. In some ways, things have gotten a bit worse. Mom did not eat anything from Saturday afternoon until breakfast this morning [Tuesday]. She is refusing to take any pain meds, not even Tylenol. They tried taking her to the dining hall last evening to see if she would eat. When they got her to the dining hall, she started screaming. She wouldn't stop. So they took her back upstairs and got her back in bed. They gave her a fast-acting anti-anxiety med to calm her down, which helped. She did eat some breakfast this morning, but only because the aide brought it to her and fed her in bed. (I'm not sure they can keep doing this- it's not "assisted living" when you can't feed yourself).

She continues to be non-interactive. I was there Saturday afternoon, Sunday afternoon and Sunday evening. She knew I was there but didn't respond to me much at all. I sat and held her hand for a while and tried to ask her a few questions. She would look at me without any expression and nod her head yes or no. She did tell me at one point that she couldn't find her pendant, but she had a little difficulty saying the words. We found the pendant in the sheets.

I talked with a nurse Sunday night, and then today I got a full report from the Elmcroft nurse and the hospice nurse. I asked them for a prognosis on Mom. Their exact words were "We are baffled. We have never seen a case like this. Most people have passed by now once they are in this state. But her heart just keeps ticking" (which they are glad for). Because there is no disease or degenerative condition happening (no kidneys shutting down, etc), there is really nothing for them to measure her condition by.

So I asked the really tough question, the one that has been on my mind: "Do you think she will still be here at Easter?"   The nurse said, "I don't know, but I would tend to think maybe not." There is no way to know, of course, and hospice has not given indication of any of the typical signs of a person's body shutting down. But I do think it is fair to say that Mom is reaching a point where she is not going to be able to rally, and the tipping point for that may not be too far away. There is no way to really know, but it is something that we all need to begin thinking about, and what that might look like over the next weeks.

I hope I have explained things in a manner that makes it easy to understand, doesn't cause alarm, yet gives you the info you need to process things and think ahead a little bit. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask and I will fill you in as best I can. The Lord has given all of us wisdom every step of the way so far and I know He will continue to do so!
-----------------------

With this news, my siblings and I began to think of planning our mother's memorial service, as we figured Mom's earthly life would be done before the end of the month.  The first project was going through pictures.