March 18, 2016

I had wrestled with making a trip out to Ohio to see Mom one last time.  I preferred the memory I had of her when I saw her at Christmas time -- she did spend her time in bed, but she would get herself up and into her wheelchair to get herself to the bathroom or be ready to have an aide take her down to the dining room for meals.  She had also been more interactive and conversant.  We had gotten out some old pictures and autograph books of hers and went through them with her.  Mom seemed more like we wished she would be more often.

At our Christmas dinner, though, she had one of her blackouts, which we had heard about.  She will suddenly slump over and be non-responsive.  The first time it happened, she was taken to the ER.  Tests showed nothing abnormal.  So, the few other times it happened, she would be taken to the nurse's station to be helped.  Thoughts were that she was having mini-strokes.

The last night I was over to see her before I left for home, she was singing in her room.  She had talked with Janice and me a bit, but she was tired from the busy afternoon of going through some of her things.  On our way out the door, she turned her head toward us and waved.  She did not get anxious or anything.  This was the picture I wanted to retain.

Becky and a friend had traveled out for the day to see Mom.  While Becky would spend her time primarily with Mom, her friend enjoyed talking with Dad.  (Sometimes Dad is off, due to his dementia; other times, he does quite well.  This was one of his good days.)

I was feeling pulled -- stay or go . . . stay or go . . . stay or go.  Debbie was able to do Face Time, and then I could see Mom and she see me.  I did most of the talking, but she sometimes would faintly reply, and Debbie would pass on to me what she had said.  (Debbie had done Face Time with the California relatives, which is why it seemed worth a try, if we could catch Mom at a time when she was being responsive.)  Debbie commented later that this -- and the time she did Face Time with the Californians -- Mom was the most responsive she had been in weeks.  Yea!  I decided not to head to Ohio the weekend of March 18. 
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Update:

Dr Sheralie saw Mom this morning. She is taking her off all regular meds, only doing comfort care. Mom was basically unresponsive to her this morning. Mom is considered terminal. If she eats something in the next day or two, she could still keep going for a little longer. If not, she may only last a few days. Mark and I will head over there to see how she is after I finish teaching at noon.
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By Sunday, I decided I was going to head out to Ohio for a few days, leaving Wednesday and returning Saturday.  I had Friday off school anyhow (Good Friday).  I asked Becky if she would like to go along.  So, I drove up to pick her up and head to Ohio.